on your own
by duskofdawns
Summary: One day you'll wake up, and you're not gonna be the same person you were yesterday. - au; soraroxas


_forgive any errors, the mistakes are all mine kids._

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i.

One day you'll wake up, and you're not gonna be the same person you were yesterday. Sora had experienced it randomly, waking up at three in the morning, staring at his ceiling. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't sad either. It was like a sense of peace, his heart beat flowing through his body.

"_I'm…ok."_

He whispers this to the darkness of his room, and Sora's vision fades out until his mother is calling for him. Morning. He turns over in his bed, pulling the blanket to cover his eyes. He hears his mother open the door, and he shuts his eyes.

"I'm tired mommy," he whispers, not meeting her gaze because he hasn't called her mommy since he was seven, when he fell out that tree and Riku had to carry him home.

His mother sighs, running her fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead. He falls asleep, wandering into an empty place.

ii.

It hits him like a train, all at once, leaving him to suffer. He had stayed with Sora, playing with his toes, blowing in his ear, like he always does. Nothing was wrong with it, until he wrapped his arms around Sora's waist and his heart beats faster than normal.

Roxas. It was the name he now found himself whispering to the stars, thinking of him when he got the chance.

Roxas, Roxas, _Roxas._

Sora groans, burying his head in Roxas's shoulder. Roxas laughs, a musical laugh while he leans his head on Sora's, and Sora wants to die.

iii.

It could have been someone else, it could have been no one. Sora doesn't know if he's happy or sad.

As he watches Roxas lean his weight on someone else, Sora feels sad, and is falling into despair. He picks at his food as Roxas walks over, asking him if he's busy later.

'_Yes, I am_.' Of course, he doesn't say that. He simply smiles and shakes his head no. He sees Roxas's eyes sparkle with something (happiness?) and grabs his hand. He's inviting him somewhere, but Sora doesn't hear, not when **he **walks over and puts his arm around Roxas, and Roxas smiles like he's the happiest guy and Sora doesn't feel like talking anymore.

iv.

He remembers, it's a game they created. They played all the time when they were ten, and stopped, but not really. Roxas uses it when he wants to talk, when Sora won't talk. Sora does the same.

Sora doesn't remember how they got here; his head feels blurred ever since Kairi convinced him to drink before. Roxas intertwines their legs together, looking straight into his eyes. Roxas has pretty eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Sor-"

"_I'm not lying."_

Roxas nudges him, because he is lying, and that's breaking the rules. He remembers now, because he made that rule.

"Please tell me."

"Why?"

"I'm your friend, and you're been acting strange around me."

Sora lets out a low laugh, it doesn't sound like his own, and he smirks.

"I thought I was your best friend."

"You are!"

"Are you sure?"

Roxas frowns at him, and Sora feels his heart speed up. He untangled their legs, crossing his arms.

"Why are you always like that Sora?"

"'Cause I am?"

"Not with me."

"Maybe that's before I figured out something."

"What" Roxas grabs a hold of his hand, and stares at him intently.

"Please tell me."

"_Before I figured out I liked you." _

Sora slowly pulls his hand away, and he's not sure anymore.

v.

Yes, he was avoiding Roxas. He has too, because maybe the feelings would pass. Sora turned off his phone, and was one of the lasts ones to leave school.

He hadn't spoken to Roxas in forever, or it felt like. Sora was the only one who felt like it. Namine had asked him if something had happened between him them, because they both looked like they haven't slept.

Sora shrugs it off, giving a small smile. "What about you Namine?"

"Hmm? What are you-"

"You and Kairi seem worst them us."

"What?!"

Sora chuckles mumbling something about studying and hurries home. Late at night, he turns on his phone, to find buzzing with text messages. Most from Roxas.

'_Please'_

'_could you just…'_

'_asshole, I hate u.'_

'_why are you so….'_

'_I want to see you.'_

Sora feels his finger hover over the delete button, but he instead he shuts his phone and tries to sleep. At midnight, his phone buzzes.

'_Meet me, please.'_

Sora doesn't feel like himself when he types a reply.

'_where?'_

vi.

"There's been a change."

That's how Roxas greets him, his hair messy, and his eyes excited and intense. It was then Sora realizes how much he missed him.

"A change," Sora whispers. Roxas gives a small grin, crossing his arms. Sora places his hands behind his head, suddenly aware of everything.

"Yeah, a change," Roxas steps closer, and uncrossed his arms. Sora takes the words in, confused. Roxas raises his eyebrows, smiling.

"In our game."

Sora finds himself stepping closer, and he thinks Roxas's breathing quickens.

"Ah, a change," He raises an eyebrow, letting his hands fall to his sides. "I didn't approve of it though."

"Trust me, you will."

Roxas is whispering now, and Sora realizes how close they are.

"Well…what is it?"

"_This,"_

Roxas takes a deep breath, throwing his arms around Sora's neck, pressing their lips together. Sora feels like he's floating, his body not his own as he wraps his arms around Roxas's waist, leaning forward into the kiss, so they won't stop.

It's like they kissed forever. Before Roxas stops and presses his forehead to Sora's.

"That's my change," he whispers, and Sora notices his red cheeks.

"I approve."

vii.

One day you'll wake up, and you're not gonna be the same person you were yesterday.

Sora whispers that to Roxas, whose head lies on his chest, staring into the sky.

"How do you know?" Roxas whispers this, his voice tried. Sora smiles as he pokes Roxas's nose with his finger, and laughs.

"It happened to me." Roxas laughs, a quiet laugh.

"Are you at a peace now?"

Sora shuts his eyes, his breaths slowing, and he thinks.

'_Yeah I am.'_

end.

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**_author's words: _**this is from such a while ago, I never had the confidence to post it until now. I love sora & roxas and this plot grew out of boredom. I'm thinking, I'll rewrite it in the future. now, I'm just to lazy, plus i have other AUs and ideas.

ah yes, the pairs. SoraRoxas is one of my only kingdom hearts otps. Yes, there is a dash of KairiNamine in this, I ship them so hard, but that is a tale for another day.

Oh and that guy Roxas was with? anyone you want it to be. absolutely anyone. for me, I saw Riku when i reread this (I happen to wonder about RikuRoxas sometimes; funny cause I can't ship SoraRiku romantically for the life of me.)

Please, leave a review! Love you guys.

- Dusk


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